I've been struck all this week in my classes by the mention of violence against women. Yesterday, domestic violence was brought up in Bible Interpretation. Today, in Catholic Morality, we talked about victims of rape. One of my Dominican sisters from Nigeria shared a heart-rending story about her niece who had been raped, and then died while giving birth to the child she conceived as a result of the rape. (The child recently died, as well.) Above, is a picture of Sr. Mary Sarah, one of my Dominican sisters in Mosul, Iraq. The sisters in Iraq are enduring so much terror because of the chaos of the war. The motherhouse has been bombed, as well as their school (I believe).
***
Domestic violence is a part of my childhood. My mother was in an abusive relationship for many years. It was the miraculous intervention of God, I believe, that finally gave her the courage to leave the abuser. I remember the day well. I had just gotten a new bicycle, and like any young kid, I wanted to spend the rest of the day riding my new bike. Instead, my cousin wanted to ride it, as well. I was being stingy, and my cousin and I quarrelled. Sure enough, my grandparents and my cousin's mother all started saying what a bad kid I was, how stingy and selfish I was, etc. (In my defense, I had just gotten the bike, and it seems unreasonable to expect me to surrender it to someone else so soon.) I was very upset, as I felt bullied, and so rode my bike to the house where my mother was living (I had already been living with my grandparents). I tearfully told my story to my mother, who, at first, didn't seem to care that much. I persisted, and demanded that she finally put my feelings first, and sure enough, she came back to my grandparents' with me, and proceeded to correct them and my aunt. I had been praying for my mother for a while, and I must have said just one more prayer, because that very day, she finally left the man she had been living with, and came to live with us. That day, she also stopped drinking--another miracle on God's part. She had been using alchohol to numb her emotional pain. It's been so long ago, that it's easy for me to forget, to bury the unhappiness in the distant past, but when I stopped for a moment, today, and remembered some of what happened, I found that there was still the shock and anger, the part of me that wanted the old wrongs to be righted.
***
Part of what the women in my classes have expressed is a frustration with society and representatives of the Church to address the problem of violence against women and children. I wonder how often Domestic Violence, which is a grave and mortal sin, is ever preached on? How many women or children sit in the pews and never hear the words that they need to hear from the pulpit--God loves you, and you don't have to take abuse from anyone.
***
The subject makes me think of my absolute favorite scene from any movie ever (from one of my favorite novels ever). In The Color Purple, Celie, after finally finding out about her true dignity as a woman and human being, finally stands up to her abusive husband. Knife in hand, she asserts her rights, including the right to leave, and pours out all of her grievances. It's a masterful and triumphant scene, where a disgusting sinner is finally put in check by Truth. The story is an overall triumph, because it's about redemption. That very same wretch that we see Celie defend herself against, is reformed in the end. How many other wretches never are, because no one ever challenges them? This may not be the woman's job, especially if it brings her into harm's way, but it is our society's job, and our Church's job--and our family's job (how many times are women and children left to an abuser by family members who never say a word, nor call the police?). The salvation of souls relies on calling out the sinner and protecting the innocent, this belongs to all of us.
***
In my daily recitation of the Divine Mercy Chaplet, I pray for the conversion of child molesters, rapists, and murderers. It's not easy praying for these people, especially on days like today, when I hear so explicitly the damage they cause. Prayer is one way of trying to acknowledge and counter such sins--but I can't help but think more has to be done. After all, when a woman or a child (or anybody else, for that matter) is victimized in any way, Christ is victimized.
***
The Body of Christ has a lot to pray for, doesn't it?
Br. Paul~
