
Saturday evening, I finally returned to Albuquerque after my two week home-visit to the folks in Kentucky. I did not have much time to recover before the business of the Sunday masses the next day, but I did get a good night sleep. It was only unfortunate that the next day our boiler died, so, for a time, the friars are without regular heat and hot water. Brushing your teeth in ice cold water is not as fun as it may sound.
Anyway, yesterday's topic for the religious education program was "Morality". It's a rather broad topic to cover in one afternoon, so my goal was to get at what I believed to be the heart of morality, that is, the "why" behind it, namely--establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, which are the source of all genuine and lasting human happiness.
There are many approaches to the topic of morality, however. On a basic level, it's the age old conversation about "right" and "wrong", or correct behavior. It has many sources--human/cultural/national/divine. It's also, as I said above, a conversation about how we are to be in relationship with one another, with God, with ourselves, and with the world/nature. Morality demands of us an accountability based on who we say we are, and what we say we believe.
I began my class, which included parents and students, with a morality pop-quiz. The quiz included questions like:
1) True or False: It is immoral to take a nap in the middle of the day?
2) True or False: It is immoral to eat a cookie after your mom or dad told you not to?
3) True or False: It is moral to watch TV?
4) True or False: It is immoral to call people names?
5) True or False: It is moral to wear makeup?
6) True or False: It is immoral to be competitive during sports?
7) True or False: Morality is all about obeying rules?
The quiz really prompted some great discussion. People were divided on some of the answers, and we came to appreciate, I think, that when we're discussing questions about the morality of a particular action, we have to take into account many different factors. "It depends" becomes a very important qualifier in nearly every scenario.
For example, take the first question: True or False: it is immoral to take a nap in the middle of the day? "It depends"--What if it's in the summer time, and the person in question is a kid with no other responsibilities? Then it would be, generally, perfectly moral for the kid to take a nap. But what if we're talking about 2pm during a school day? Then, more than likely, the kid should not be taking a nap. But what if the kid was up all night helping a friend with a problem? Then, he shouldn't be taking a nap, generally--but we understand why he's so tired, and we may forgive him.
We do the whole "it depends", because circumstances matter when it comes to determining the morality of an action. It is a hallmark of a compassionate and rational community that circumstances are weighed along with the act. Remember, our Lord himself cautioned us when he said: "For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged, and with what measure you measure, you will be measured." (Matthew 7:2)This command of Jesus serves as a warning, as well. Not one of us is sinless or perfect, so not one of us should want to be judged on a black and white sort of way. So, neither should we judge others in such a way. Taking the time to hear the "other side of the story" or to "walk in someone else's shoes" is time well spent, if it leads to conversion, reconciliation, and peace.
So what is at the heart of my moral compass? It's not a fear of punishment, although a proper fear of punishment is not out of place sometimes; it is the love that I have for God. When you love someone, you begin to see the relationship between what you do and the happiness of the one you love. To please and love the other, you willingly forfeit some of your own wishes, knowing that the love you have in the relationship with the one you love far outweighs the happiness you might have had by having your own way.
"If you love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) "This is my commandment; that you love one another." (John 15:17) Could Jesus be more clear?
I used a clip from
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as an example of a horribly immoral family. The Dursleys--Harry's aunt, uncle, and cousin--are amazingly skilled at abuse. All of them use speech to put Harry down, barking orders at him and taunting him, and both his uncle and cousin are not adverse to physically hurting Harry. Harry is forced to sleep in a locked closet, and is treated more like a servant than a member of the family. All the while, both Mr. and Mrs. Dursley seemingly love their son Dudley. Unfortunately, they don't know how to love properly, and instead of raising a loving child, they raise a spoiled, hateful child who doesn't know the first thing about love. For all their gifts to him, it is apparent that Dudley has only conditional love for his parents. If they please him, he will love them, otherwise, he will throw fits and be violent.
The sad thing about the opening scenes with the Dursleys is that they resemble real-life families. I have seen such family dynamics, and I think that they are at the root of most of the dysfunctions that society, the Church, and any other group of people have. The family is the fundamental building block of society, and if there are problems within the family, there are sure to be problems for the individuals of that family in any situation with other people.
The moral problem for the Dursleys and for the real-life families they represent is a failure to love properly. Their relationships on every level are not functioning due, mainly, to selfishness. Relationships demand sacrifice and an orientation toward the other. They also demand an inclusive attitude. The moment our love becomes limited to just ourselves, or to one other person, etc., it becomes a very small, petty sort of love. A marker of divine love, which we humans are meant to exhibit given our dignity as images of God, is an all-inclusive love. An exclusive kind of love is partnered with hate, after all; whereas an inclusive love refuses to hate. The bigger our love, the more we resemble God, in whom, scripture says, is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). Hate is a form of spiritual darkness, whereas love is the light that cannot be triumphed over, because even while it is being attacked by darkness, it loves on. The holy death of a loving person is only proof of love's abiding power--therefore, in trying to destroy goodness, evil only gives goodness the chance to prove its superiority.
To be moral, then, is the fulfillment of all that the human person was intended to be--the beautiful image of the God who is goodness and love. So our religious and cultural discussions about the morality of actions aren't based on Pharisaical hangups some people have about rules or an idle way to stir up controversy; but a rightly ordered quest to become fully human, and to reach the natural purpose of human life: happiness. This is why, I believe, so many of the writers of the books of the Hebrew Bible praise the gift of God's Torah to Israel--they knew it was God's way of helping them get back to how they were supposed to be, and his way of helping them maintain relationships. What a very different attitude to some voices today who rage against the Church and its teachings. Rugged individualism, however, is not a biblical value. How could it be? It flies in the face of relationships and the sacrifices required for them. Or as Pope Benedict put is in
The Yes of Jesus Christ: "...God does not reveal himself to the isolated ego and excludes individualistic isolation: being related to God is tied up with being related to our brothers and sisters, with communion with them" (28.)This communion is impossible so long as the individual does not factor into his happiness the happiness of others.
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So, anyway, I had a wonderful time during the class. Of course, the time flew by, and before I knew it, the kids and their parents were gone. Hopefully, there was some good food for thought in what was said to feed our meditations for the weeks to come as we begin Ordinary Time and a new year.
Br. Paul, OP~